It’s been a long journey with my childhood friend. Almost 11 years! I always accompany him, go for vacations, hang out and eat with him, ride his bike together and sometimes go for long walks. We also make long conversations about everything going on in our life. We pass a great time together.
My friend loves a girl very much. Everything was working well between them. But recently she is not communicating with him. She is not receiving his calls or replying his messages. She is not feeling attracted to him anymore. She hangs out with another boy. She is cheating! As a result, he is suffering from depression. He is passing a very bad time at home in this lockdown.
Yesterday I thought for a while about his affair and tried to analyze the matter. In fact, most of our Bangladeshi young people are unemployed. And the love of these unemployed youth is the most intense one. My friend is no exception. That is why he is thinking about the girl all the time except sleeping (may do so in sleeping as well, who knows!). As a result of this constant thinking, various kinds of positive-negative thoughts are constantly fighting in his brain. It is not supposed to make him sleep well. If he could get close to that girl, maybe his body and mind would be calm. But this is not happening, since the girl is no longer responding to his calls or messages. At this stage, instability and anxiety have appeared in his mind. He is gradually becoming more and more frustrated.
When young Bangladeshis fall in love, they consider each other as their property. A woman is mine, especially mine – they like such fantasies very much. From this fantasy they expect to get more attention, more messages, more gifts and so on. They desire to own the opposite mind.
But the mind is a broad concept. It is impossible to own it completely. There is no way to know what is going on in someone’s mind. Besides, it is also easier to exchange minds than the body. As a result, the mind is often divided, and the nature of the mind is to be divided. If it does not get the desired attention and care, it is always waiting for the opportunity – how to break! But that individual from whom it is separated cannot take the matter lightly. Because after loosing his mind he becomes very upset.
I think the same thing happened to my friend. There are also solutions from various perspectives. At first, for some days he has to remain so busy that he can not get enough free time to think about that girl. He can engage himself in doing some sort of job, internship or courses. As a result, he will gradually heal and cope up with time. And later, at some point somehow he has to recreate those feelings, those fantasies again. It is necessary to offer love to a new person, who will be tempted to become his own. Perhaps in a few days his lost happiness will resurface, who knows!
“Love comes only once in a lifetime” – have to get out of this false and fabricated concept. Only then, all disappointments will be removed and good days will return. It’s never too late to restart.
T. Mahmud Ornab
Student, Department of English
Jahangirnagar University